What's the biggest lie you've ever seen on someone's CV? Big-ass, hairy, great lies. Lies so big you can't see the forest for the trees.
Scenario: Malaysia, mid 90's
I was lucky (read family connections) as an intern to land myself in the midst of mega project teams (this was during the Mahathir era) in big name firms.
I knew an expatriate (who flocked to Malaysia, just like they're flocking to Dubai these days) A, in one of these firms. His CV is online (email me for his URL), proudly displayed in macromedia flash- some highlights below:
He says he has worked in those megaproject teams that I was in. WTF? He was in the same building, yes but not on the same team! (Email me for his URL)
In his flashy portfolio of works, A claims to have worked with an American firm known for resorts, a famous international Australian firm- he even got the name wrong. (I later ended up working there and NOBODY has heard of him. Email me for his URL)
Here's the BEST one: he went to grad school at an IVY LEAGUE college in the States!!!! OMG, totally priceless! RFOL!! I heard he was working for someone I know (NOT IN THE STATES) during the time he supposedly went to grad school in the states. (Email me for his URL)
His one man band "International business network"..... !!! I'm SURE I'm not the only one who finds this absolutely hilarious....(Email me for his URL)
Listen, A: You're in your mid 40's but you can still do with learning a few life lessons. The industry here in Australia is pretty small. People basically already know you and your bosses. You'll know that they know you're lying if your phone isn't ringing. Sit there and digest that in your rented condo with your family in tow.
Now, as a Management Consultant (VERY part time these days). I proudly leave my INSEAD transcript in my CV, but no one's interested in looking at it, really. They're more interested in 3 rounds of interviews and a psychometric test. All I have I experience with one M&A situation. I LOVED every second of it it gives me goosebumps, but I can't put that on my CV.
Lately, blogging isn't what it used to be. I used to spew forth all my guts on each post. Let it all hang out. Fun, actually. That was 5 years ago. I was about to turn 30.
I sensor myself a lot more these days. For example, I don't talk about my husband, my marriage or my baby in any sort of depth anymore. I draw a protective boundary around what I hold dearest. Another reason: I deal with issues that come up very efficiently and "file them away" in my mental compactus even before I write a blog post about it.
I've met some people that I have come to respect as fellow bloggers- some who regularly drop by and leave a note and some never comment on the blog but do it via email. Some emails go regrettably unanswered because I wish to remain anonymous.
I talk in abstract most of the time EXCEPT for when other bloggers and events inspire me. It's sad that blogging (to me, anyway) isn't the creative outlet it used to be.
I think I'm more honest in my Twitter page than I am on the blog because writing a blog post forces you to think about what to write and edit it over and over again. Tweets are just spur-of-the-moment thoughts.
Curiousity got the better of me tonight when the wanker-banker husband is working late and I'm working on a few bits and bobs (I've mentioned a start-up on my Twitter, but will blog about it when things become more concrete).
I was the one who went around the internet to dig up what I now realize I wish I didn't know. Out of a smug feeling, I wanted to feel that I was better off than him, seeing as I have all that I have in my life now. I wanted to find out that he was still unhappily single, old, fat, ugly, poor or better yet, dead. But he looks happy. He's looks like he's got all that he never had when he was a workaholic who spent too much time living it up in Bangsar.
It is now in this moment of weakness that I'll say it's lonely behind this facade. My life. My choices. Deal with it.
Now that I no longer live in a secure building and I'm in house in the burbs, I have one extra headache to deal with- besides fussy old neighbours and their protests to council against the renovations to our home messing with the "character" of their street, AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!
At around 4-7pm everyday, there will be a variety of door knockers (from salesmen, charities who want a donation, school raffles, neighbourhood petitions) who usually interrupt either when I'm breastfeeding or making dinner or on the shitter. Usually I'm pretty polite and quickly turn away salesmen- but one particular cocky little shit got my goat one day.
This is how it went, more or less:
Salesman: Hello how are you- I'm ABC from XYZ and wow- what are you cooking for dinner? Smells SPICY! (So he sees I'm somewhat asian in appearance and so automatically the guesses are that I'm cooking some asian dish, right? This is one of my pet hates about sales pitches- get familiar and try to identify with me, eh? EH?) Me: I'm making Spaghetti Bolognaise. Not very spicy is it. What is it that you want?
Salesman: XYZ are having a special limited offer for DEF plus JKL for X weeks only. This is only available to the residents of GHI. Me: No, sorry we already have DEF. That's enough for us.
Salesman: Whaaat? You don't want JKL? Come oooon, you're asians! You can QWERTY your ASDFGs! You guys would love it!!!!! (I think steam is escaping from my ears at this point. Oh just because we're asian we all have to love ASDFG????) Me:......*Slams door in his face*
I'm a mix of asian but I am asian in appearance. I hate to be stereotyped. Just like urban Australians would hate people who thought that they were all like Crocodile Dundee or Steve Irwin. Right? Get it?
Been going out for meals quite a fair bit lately. I found myself unable to resist grabbing my camera and taking a picture of a dish that I want to remember. Sometimes I think asian people in Sydney like certain asian restaraunts here only because they WANT to like it, not because it's actually good.
A great tool for quantifying customer needs. Like a good little consultant, I did a mini survey and used the Kano model to plot out what I thought were order winners that keeps customers like me going back to the same places and ordering the same items.
At a Chinatown eatery that is a Singaporean and Malaysian institution: The trio of sauces that go with hainanese chicken rice. Detail: These three MUST be together.
At a Thai family dinner: Crab and glass noodle salad. Detail: Parts of crab flesh are pierced with spring onion leaves. (don't ask how they did this. If you knew you'd spit it out....)
A popular Japanese haunt in the north shore: Sashimi. Detail: Good, heavy rustic earthen crockery. (So good that it chips off in dishwashers. Ooops)
At a famous Malaysian eatery on the outskirts of Sydney: Nasi Lemak (steamed coconut rice with side dishes of deep fried peanuts and anchovies, boiled egg, sambal and rendang/curry. Detail: Curry leaves deep fried together with peanuts and ikan bilis (anchovies).
I recorded Factory Girl on Foxtel IQ and finally watched it.
The synopsis: "FACTORY GIRL imaginatively unfolds the comet-like rise and fall of 60s “It Girl” Edie Sedgwick, the blazing superstar who came to define both the glamour and the tragedy of our celebrity-obsessed culture. Sedgwick appeared to be the quintessential American princess, with her blue blood, her trust fund and her Harvard education, not to mention her ethereal beauty and vivacious charisma. But she was also a lost and fragile little girl; and when she met up with counter-culture anti-hero Andy Warhol, everything changed. Suddenly, Edie found herself at the center of a Pop Art universe bursting with sex, drugs, style and rock ‘n’ roll -- and a mad rush for fame and fabulousness that was destined to spin out of control."
"Arriving into the chaos of mid-60s New York, Edie (Sienna Miller) is taken under the wing of the famously deadpan artist Andy Warhol (Guy Pearce) who sees in her untamed vulnerability the makings of an irresistible muse. Warhol invites Edie into the wild world of The Factory, a former downtown hat factory he has transformed into a bohemian paradise. Here, a rag-tag mix of musicians, poets, artists, actors and misfits gather to create avant-garde movies during the day and throw glam parties all night long. Edie quickly ascends to become the star of Warhol’s movies, an idol at The Factory and a media darling. She is on top of the world when she falls in love with a larger-than-life rock star (Hayden Christensen). But when Edie becomes caught between Warhol’s world of sexy surfaces and her new love, she winds up rejected by both – and once again, set adrift in the modern world."
It's the ultimate story about a fag hag gone wrong.
I received yet another anonymous suggestion as to what my identity is. I have had a few emails like this one in the last few years I've had this bloggie.
But this one suggestion was something I took some offence to.
"Anonymous" suggested I was a daughter of a politician from the "old guard" who fell from glory in a very spectacular way. Now, I actually know the daughters and sons (use the term loosely because there has been an adoption here and there). And this particular daughter that I purportedly am, is exceptionally talented, smart AND she is a great writer. She is also a pretty little thang for her age. She is still single, too.
So why do I take offence?
Maybe it's her useless siblings close to their 40's who still live at home, leech and sponge off whatever's left of their old man's fortune. Maybe it's all the wealth they enjoy in, courtesy of their old man's illegally acquired millions and corrupted ways, so as a result, NONE of them are "exceptional earners" (as Britney Spears put it so well in "Piece of Me", haha).
Well. That's why I take offence: I chose to live here, NOT in Malaysia where I can gain so much from using my Dad's name. I make my own legit money.
And I (ahem) married into money. *sheepish* *runs off*
Yummy mummies of the lower north shore (TM)......... hoping to make it into a reality TV show really soon.
We're the ones with bugaboos and Phil n Teds parked next to our table..... We're dressed in Jigsaw or Veronika Maine. We're the ones who take turns popping out a boob (or two) to feed our hungry babies..... We're the ones with a noisy (but well dressed) toddler or two in tow......
Husband is away for meetings in London HQ. Probably to go over the head count during the next round of job-axing here in the colonies. All the bankers here are shaking in their Florsheim shoes, I tell ya.
So here I am updating the blog again. Wee hours of Sunday morning. Reading the non-news sections of the weekend paper. Spotted these little ditties.
The SMH's Domain: "Concrete Castle" about an off-form concrete dream home in Lane Cove...... looks like this was an enjoyable process for all involved: it took a year to design and two years to build. As an ex-project manager and architect, I say PIG'S ARSE. What is this, a university student's project? This is a real world. This concrete castle was probably built before the recession. Who wants their project to run over budget and over time? No joints and lines? Hello. What about using render-on blockwork???? Like I said. Pig's arse.
If I ever moved back to an apartment again, I wouldn't go back to The Rocks, I'd look to North Bondi- where Bondi Icebergs is. That's out next goal. An uninterrupted view of the water. We are currently near water but don't see any. WTF. What's the point? Like a mantra that I tell myself over and over again. Renovate. Add value. Wait for the prices to go up again. Then sell.
Ok- that aside, I'm going to make breakfast now. It's miserable and rainy outside. I'm gonna try this: Has anyone out there tried this? How does one get pancakes that thick? Hmmm.
I wish I could cook like Karen Martini in the Sun Herald's Sunday Life magazine: "Filo egg tarts with cured ocean trout, caviar, chives and dill"
Dream on.
Friday, May 29, 2009
Should Jon & Kate Plus 8 Be Taken Off the Air? This once-endearing show about raising twins and sextuplets has turned into a spectacle highlighting Kate's inability to handle the daily stress caused by her many hang-ups. Meanwhile, Discovery is essentially condoning her abusive tendencies... http://www.associatedcontent.comarticle/506701/should_jon_kate_plus_8_be_taken_off.html
I wanna talk chairs. I spent 5 years training as an architect. 6 if you count my year-out. Then I spend 12 years working as an architect (design, construction, planning... you name it, I did it) and getting my licence. So I think I can talk about design with some authority. The Corona chair by Poul Volther.
This is a great investment, if it's in leather- and you'd only need one for your study. BE that evil genius that sits on his throne twirling his moustache going "MWAAA-HAAHAA-HAAA" at every little bit of planning that he does- like designing your own home. Pretty sad, really. Not the chair, though.... the chair's pure sex. Get it!
Egg chair by Arne Jacobsen
If this ain't a mod classic then I dunno what is. The funny thing is, I remember when I was very young, my Dad had one of these. In black leather too, baby. Back then it wasn't a big deal so me and by siblings (3 kids all under 4yrs, whoa) totally destroyed it. Then came our cat..... I can't remember what eventually happened to the chair- must've been taken to some random dump near the 50490 hood.
Marshmallow chair by George Nelson.
YES. Get this for your hallway or for your boudoir (or walk-in-closet as us normal folk like to call it). Not comfortable, but you'll only ever need one piece, so this is a great buy.
Who can resist resting on an ample bosom and thighs? I know I can't. I have spent many a saturday morning drooling over this chair at Space Furniture. I love its organic lines. Love its "embrace". Get this if you've got a few K in your budget, and you'll only need ONE because it's pretty darned big.
The Barcelona chair by Mies van der Rohe- furniture which the architect has designed for his Barcelona Pavillion. Like Le Corbusier's chaise lounge, chairs and sofas, DO NOT get this unless you have the entire lounge set or you will risk your guests thinking that you bought a cheap imitation from China. And these have been bought to death by any and every DIY wanna-be interior designer. My years as an architect tells me NOOO. The Tulip chair by Eero Saarinen
Eero Saarinen is an architect that epitomized 60's coolness. His other work of art was Dulles Airport in Virginia, USA. (completed 1962)
In the winter of 1995, there was a snowstorm in January- and I was booked on a very stupid route that stopped in Dulles Airport to LAX instead of O'Hare to LAX. Of course there was a delay (biiig surprise) and I wandered the airport for a few gorgeous hours. But this chair looks great as a bar stool, so yes you'd need a few of these.
Wassily chair by Marcel Breuer Composition VIII by Wassily Kandinsky, 1923.
Designed for Wassily Kandinsky the russian constructivist artist by Marcel Breuer of the Bauhaus design school. What prompts a man to design a chair for another man? My favourite- not necessarily as something to sit on, er, but I admire its architecture. Just look at the way it's constructed! Need I say more? Get these as your dining table chairs- make sure it's a glass dining table and the retro-retro (double because it's 80's retro on 20's retro) look is complete. Eames chair by Charles Eames
For tree-hugger-veggie-burger wood, Charles Eames and Alvar Aalto is the BEST. IKEA ain't got nothin' on Alvar Aalto, the godfather of scandinavian design. Original Aalto chair
You think IKEA's Poang chair was original? Pthtptthhh!!!!! Gawd, IKEAphiles crack me up. YEAH, YOU. Have you heard the conversations/arguments/sniping between couples with opposing aesthetic ideas in IKEA? Go there on a Saturday for some comedy- that's when all the trash bring their brood out for a cheap meal and to pick up some plastic twat thingy that will make your life so much like those people inside the IKEA catalogues.
The Heart Chair by Verner Panton for Vitra
Gorgeous kitsch appeal just like the Lips sofa. From experience, this one wobbles waaaay too much after a few months of use. The function outweighs the form when the form is too lightweight.
Starckie has done MILLIONS of chairs, and the most well known one is probably the Ghost chair for Kartell. But I like this one best because there is some sense of craftsmanship to the end product. The wood is gorgeous. BUT I still wouldn't get it because the frame looks shit-house (Australian technical term). If it wasn't powdercoated aluminium and stainless steel then that would be better.
I woke up this morning from a disturbing ex-boyfriend dream thanks to Facebook. Facebook is a funny little old social networking phenomenon that we could do without. But we won't for some deep, dark, ugly reason. (Not something I find as practical as Twitter.)
The facebook facts: I know that this ex, a baby faced older man (no, not the divorced one) is now quite a success. His businesses are now set up in a few countries- two in Southeast Asia and one here in Australia. Thanks to curiousity and the internet, I read a few articles written about him. Looks like he moved here in the last few years and set up an office here and has a good project pipeline.
Why does he have to come here? AND WHY did I have to dream that I met up with him again? And where was my husband and baby in that dream?
I read a good article in the Sydney Morning Herald's Good Weekend while having my Saturday morning tea. Mia Freedman asks the question what we mothers teach our young daughters when we buy tea sets, fairy outfits, mini kitchens, baby dolls complete with nappies, strollers etc. OR WORSE, Barbie dolls!!! (emphasis mine) How do we teach them to be strong, independent women? Any parent who has a daughter, like myself, finds themselves in this predicament at some point.
The article ends with thank god for Dora the Explorer- "she's short, squat" with "a no-nonsense haircut". Yep, Dora is currently a hero to millions of young girls, mainly pre schoolers. She dresses in a plain t-shirt and shorts, carries a utilitarian backpack with a map in it as she explores with her sidekick monkey friend.
We are true blue real estate opportunists. Thanks to the economic downturn, the price of real estate has plummeted somewhat and we're on the hunt for property in Mosman again. Buyers are staying away from the AUD$ 1.5-2 million price range and yes, beautifully designed and renovated water-view bargains are to be found in this area. Check out Mosman's listings on domain.com.au
Cue vintage Duran Duran please. "In touch with the ground, I'm on the hunt, I'm after you Scent and a sound, I'm lost and I'm found And I'm hungry like the wolf"
We won't be able to afford waterfront property where you can park a boat (if we had one, we'd buy a place to park it!) for another 10 years, so we are settling for water views instead. WHY is Mosman our suburb of choice?
View Larger Map W-ELLL.... it's near Balmoral beach, Manly beach, it's near Taronga Zoo, it's leafy and quiet. In the afternoon, we spend some time on Balmoral Beach.
I love cool sand between my toes. I could get used to living here. My little girl loves the beach.
Even later on in the afternoon, we ended up in Haberfield, the Italian suburb that still considers itself authentic, after Leichardt became all commercialised as THE Little Italy of Sydney. We have coffee and sweets at famous Pasticceria Sulfaro on Ramsay Street. It's a family business that has been there for more than 50 years. I'm no foodie like Helen of GrabYourFork, BUT I had to take a picture because I thought the china was so kitsch and the Southern Italian sweets were too pretty for words. The food was heavenly. Our baby was content to sit on my lap gurgling and playing. Yes. Carry a bag full of little toys that keep little people busy.
At the end of the day we did find a few bargains- we registered our interest in those properties, will view them again, get the finances in order etc. Very excited and anxiously keeping tabs on domain.com.au.
And now folks, let's look at justice (and its decay) in Malaysia through Kohlberg's (1958) Stages of Moral Reasoning. Laurence Kohlberg was a psychologist who charted stages of the development of moral reasoning from childhood to adulthood. There are six stages in all, each two stages belong in 3 levels. Aw, why not? It's hella *FUN*FUN*FUN*. Not that I'm hoping to make a difference at all by writing this- I have neither the grandiose ego nor the audacity of hope nor the illusion that real life=cyberspace.
Level 1 (Pre-Conventional behaviours exhibited by children and some adults) 1. Crime and punishment (cause and effect)- Malaysian police sure puts the fear of God in you. When you were a kid, didn't your nanny always threaten you with "Nanti polis tangkap, baru tau!" Every day smart young Malaysian boys and gals in the workforce keep their heads down and try not to do anything that would upset Big Brother. Be naughty and you get spanked. 2. Selfishness (what's in it for me?)- "Eat this spinach and mommy will give you a big ice cream!" Money(bribery) can do anything in Malaysia. Even make independent politicians jump ship to Barisan National. Think of a spectrum: Indonesia on one end and Singapore on the other. Is Malaysia nearer to Indonesia?
Level 2 (Conventional behaviours exhibited by teens and some adults) 3. Interpersonal accord and conformity (Peer pressure)- Keeping up with the Joneses. OH BOY Malaysia Boleh is all about this, no? The INTERNATIONALLY(not. Oh wait I forgot- the international anything is inconsequential, right?) successful Proton Saga, getting the 1st Malaysian in space and blah blah blah ad nauseam. 4. Authority and social-order maintaining (Morality, religion)- When you were a teenager in KL, were you not afraid of those Imams on motorbikes catching you in the act? Who the fuck made them the police? The juidicial system in Malaysia really is split between the good guys and the bad guys (See Lingam tapes), huh? Oh and another thing: I will go to hell, but I say keep the Syariah law out of Malaysia.
Level 3 (Post-Conventional- Adults) 5. Social contract-(Laws are there to serve society and in turn, society is shapes those laws through a democratic process.) When the laws no longer serve the people, they should be changed. IT'S VERY SIMPLE, REALLY. Look. People speak. Government listen (they should, anyway). BUT Malaysia is still fucking married to the ISA and the NEP. Jean Jacques Rosseau himself preferred direct democracy and not representative democracy. 6. Universal ethical principles (Principled conscience)- Lots of Malaysians have this innate sense of right and wrong. Just take a look at blogs, which are basically written thoughts, not actions. BUT it is surpressed by fear of crime and punishment and by rewards, both Level 1 pre-conventional stages of morality that children have. Conclusion: The government treats the Malaysian people like children. It is a supreme insult to your intelligence. Wanna live a lie? Go on and pretend to be kids, then complain secretly.
Malaysia fixed its own problems during the Asian Financial Crisis in the late 90's when they took control of UEM ( then the parent company of PLUS, now known as the UEM Group) who, in their infinite wisdom, had become buried in debt. So there were no toll hikes to cover their arses. Big Brother played the hero and absorbed the cost, saving the rakyat. Waaaah. My heeerrrooo. Pre-Conventional Morality wins the voters. That was smart voting, eh? Sell your soul for the cost of a few hundred dollars a year.
When an MP is on the campaign trail in their constituencies, we all know that their promises and their values alter themselves to appeal to those whose votes they are after (eg. they may change when addressing religious leaders in a mosque and the chinese chamber of commerce). It's either "dumbed down" OR one that is incites the fires of righteousness (think "Ketuanan Melayu").
This is all very well IF you know who your friends and enemies are. Know the people who vote for you. Malaysia allows voter profiling- eg. how many malay/chinese/ indian/ iban etc. voted for whom and where they come from. Oh bravo good show old chap, how very liberal of you. Well done and all that. pat yourself on the back etc. etc.
Recommendation: Now how about including more socio-economic data such as income level, profession, age group. It is outdated to assume people vote by the categories of race.
Recommendation: In certain constituencies where only 60% of registered voters bother to vote for you, think of the 40% who do not turn up. Who are they? How do you reach them? Think Blue Ocean Strategy and new markets. (merci pour le lavage de cerveau, INSEAD... heh) Visit venues and support causes which you have never supported before, find other marketing channels - "pull" systems such as a web page with a diary or portal for your services as an MP. This is NOT new, but old MPs must restrategize and re-think their rules of engagement.
Recommendation: Anyone who has voted in Malaysia before knows that registering to vote is a pain in the arse. All the red tape is a hassle, too. So how about looking at streamlining the voting process? While we're at it, how about making voting compulsory and slapping those people who don't vote with a big fat fine?
Any consultant worth their salt *AHEM* will hit you (usually a company whose P&L/ balance sheet sucks or employee turnover is high) with a six figure bill after making those recommendations. But here you go it's FREE- the kind Malaysians like.
My best friend may be someone's partner now, but I'm still his hag, and I have my duties to him- such as watching the Live Telecast of the Academy Awards Red Carpet with him and his man. The gay equivalent of the Superbowl.
Thanks to the magic of Foxtel IQ, I recorded it and we watched it together after work hours last night. We three and a half people ordered in and had dinner in front of the TV because.... A. I have a baby at home. B. My husband is away overseas again. C. I live near the city (where work is). D. They'd use any excuse to swing by this area.
They left to have a drink at The Wharf. And I'll try and get the riveting highlights down.
His pick for best dressed: Marisa Tomei in Versace He thinks that it's "pure drama-rama, baby". Gorgeous pleated details, so well constructed. She had the right hair and accessories, too. I think that it's a great dress on a great body. It would be perfect if it was in a more daring colour. Like Red. She can wear any colour, really. This is playing it too safe.
His pick for worst dressed: Jessica Biel in Prada. He thinks the dress had no shape and she was wearing black closed toed shoes with this white dress! "OMG, MAJOR CRIME!" Her hair was kinda "blah- like what she would wear to the mall." "What a waste of a Prada!" He went on and on.... I think that the dress is very architectural- a great dress BUT she could've played up her voluptuous figure in a better dress. Think Versace.
My pick for best dressed: Alicia Keys in Armani Prive. I think it's a classy overall look. The dress is very flattering because it skims her curves where it needs to be skimmed and the dress is very structured where it needs to hold her in. It's a great colour on her. She usually picks Armani Prive and it always works. He thinks that the best thing about the dress is the hair. There's too much unnecessary ruching going on in the bodice, adding too much bulk on the torso, but not enough bulk on the bust.
My pick for worst dressed: Nicole Kidman in L'Wren Scott I think it's awful. Are those feathers or fibre optic wire fountains on her dress? It does nothing for the dress at all, especially the ones on her cleavage. Everytime she chooses white, she manages to look all washed out. Like a tall glass of milk. And what's with that hair? Is it a bob or not? He thinks: Ditto. "Boring, boring, boring! NEXT!"
Honourable mentions: Penelope Cruz in vintage Pierre Balmain This is what you're supposed to look like when you're a 16 year old at the debutante ball. Check out the prom queen hair. Oh God, get a stylist. She rocks the sexy vixen look. The demure, innocent look just doesn't work on her.
Tilda Swinton in Lanvin Age-appropriate and very flattering. I love, love, love the draping. In fact, I'm going to buy that black skirt!
Heidi Klum in Roland Mouret She's a gorgeous woman who can wear anything in the world and still look good. It looks like something the designers at Project Runway cooked up for a challenge.
Angelina Jolie in Elie Saab This is one designer who knows how to flatter a woman's curves. Great choice. And the green earrings and ring looks SO striking against a black dress like this one. She's just a beautiful woman- with her, it's not about the dress, it's all about her.
After reading a post about the Malaysian opposition leader Anwar Ibrahim's visit to a Chinese language school by the very astute and highly enlightened blogger Antares, I spotted a familiar phrase and wanted to share this:
Up to 2006, Sydney Chinatown gates had the very same quote by Han Yu San: "Within the four seas, we are brothers."- the English translation is above the Chinese letters.
Now, the gates proclaim "Understanding, Virtue and Trust."- again, note English translation above the chinese letters.
Chinese Malaysians would be so proud to live in a country with a leader who encourages pride (instead of shame) in your heritage- please remember that when the next election comes around in Malaysia.
Anyone who ticks the box next to "Cina" or "India"- consider the possibility that you might be able to live in a country under a government that values you, not your race. I don't tick next to those boxes, but anyone with a fraction of chinese blood would scream out in pride. And I do.
Anyone of any race who is living overseas should consider going back for the next election to vote NO to UMNO. It's the least you can do for the country in which you were born.
Elizabeth Wong, the state assemblywoman for Bukit Lanjan, is a brilliant ray of sunshine in Malaysian politics. You'd be hard-pressed to find a better example of public service in a politician than this woman.
She is also a woman brought down by Malaysian politics. Semi-nude photos of her sleeping on her sofa at home and at an angle showing her er, privates, all taken without her knowledge, have been leaked and circulated on the internet by an unknown person.
The alleged person is thought to be her ex- boyfriend Hilmi Malek. The photos wouldn't bat an eyelid in any western country- but this is Malaysia, a moderate muslim country. The police are after him- he's hiding in Indonesia.
But if you see THIS guy, feel free to knee him in the nuts.
She is only human. A woman just like me and you. A saint compared to many of the UMNO powers that be. I hope women in Malaysia mark this episode down in their memories. Remember this next time you enter a ballot booth and cast your vote.
I ask you Malaysians, how can you continue to have hope that things will change without a revolution? How can you not submit your application to migrate to Australia/ New Zealand/ Singapore/ U.K./ U.S.?
Nadya Suleyman, the Californian woman who was allowed to have multiple implants which resulted in octoplet babies, has set up a website asking for donations to assist her in raising her children. Have a look: http://www.thenadyasulemanfamily.com/ Leave a comment and tell her what you think. I have.
I'm pretty disgusted by this woman. Every maternal cell in my body hates this woman. I can't explain why. I pity all the kids who all this woman their mother. She has six other kids. I don't think they're likely to get much time or attention from their mother from now on. Someone should set up a website to adopt her unwanted litter of kids. She was a single mother of six (she is divorced from their father) when she sought IVF from a sperm donor for these eight babies. Let's look beyond the macabre circus show and see the real social issues here.
The picture of her belly just before giving birth will tell you that this woman was risking her own life and the life of her eight unborn babies. That's nine lives on the line unnecessarily.
The doctor/hospital that allowed this should have their license taken away. U.S. IVF guidelines don't limit the number of embryos implanted, but for women over 35, it is recommended that there be no more than 2 embryos. What kind of excuse is there for this sort of gross negligence and zero duty of care? The Hospital is Kaiser Permanente's Bellflower Medical Centre. The doctors sealed their own fate by showing their sorry faces on national TV.
I just hope they've got good grandparents. The kind of parents that lots of Malaysian women have. The ones that literally raise your kids for you while you get to have your career and life. Ahmad, R. (1996), UPM, in a study of working Malaysian mothers found that 71% relied on their children's grandparents to be the primary caregiver. I am almost certain that the remainder of that number will consist os maids.
How many kids in the U.S. are born to irresponsible mothers who end up abusing them or worse? Let's hope they make examples out of the doctors who allowed this to happen.
I fell in love with my Sass 'n' Bide jeans when I first laid eyes on them at David Jones- I bought two identical ones. BEFORE I HAD MY BABY. Yep. Dumb move, I kept telling myself for the past 5 months. BUT...
I never expected to lose all the weight and then some while breastfeeding a baby for about 5 months. According to the CSIRO, breast feeding demands an extra 3000 kilojoules per day. My baby looks like she's VERY well fed and on the brink of starting on solid foods, too.
So now, I have virtually no arse, stick arms and huge boobs. And the cruel joke is all I can wear are breastfeeding shirts and bras. And my Sass 'n' Bide jeans look like they're gonna fall off because there IS NO ARSE. So there I am in Westfield Bondi Junction, unable to walk because my hands need to be free to push the bugaboo, yet I have to stop every few steps to pull my jeans up.
*Sob* I'm just resigning myself to buying new "temporary jeans" which I will probably hate.
BEFORE & AFTER
Some days ago, at the risk of looking like a typical asian teenage (I wish! Ha!) fashion victim, I decided to go several shades lighter. Maybe I fell asleep while my hair was being done or something. I'm stuck with this for at least a few weeks. Then I can darken it again.
Breastfeeding my child is something that I'm so proud of doing. Read about it here at World Health Organization site. Actress Salma Hayek breastfed a starving African baby boy during a visit in her role as a UN ambassador. The baby's mother's milk had dried up and Salma was weaning her own baby, so she had enough milk left to spare. There were quite a few people out there who found this disgusting, too. People who would rather have the baby boy starve than deal with their own hang-ups/ "delicate sensibilities". At the end of the day, she gave her milk to the baby who needed it most. What a wonderful, selfless act. I would do the same thing.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
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I've been inspired by the utterly amazing GirlJapan to do a raw, cathartic meme based on Facebook's 25 random things. I've already done this meme on facebook under my REAL name, and I only gave answers that were expected of me. (the facade that I hide behind.)
So here's my REAL meme- in all its gut wrenching honesty. (Er, some have already been covered by past posts in this blog)
My husband has no idea that I have a blog. Nobody in my life knows.
I honestly believe that I've engineered every aspect of my life so far. I don't know what I would do if one day, something went wrong, as things do in life....I'd probably fall apart. Run away.
I would have a pretty perfect life if I had chosen to live in Malaysia, I'd be able to rely on family connections (family's NGO) and government contracts and get rich double quick. BUT we prefer to live in a country where we are all, by law, equal. We chose to make our own careers here in Australia and we have done pretty well, too. BUT we also have money from our families in Malaysia, so we're able to afford nice cars and homes in Sydney. Oh the hypocrisy.....
I chose to live in Australia sometime when I was doing my university degree here. because I didn't want to live in a country (Malaysia) that was falling apart.
I had no life and studied furiously for 2 years in Singapore and Fontainebleau. They say an MBA is life-changing and it is. I hardly called my husband, family or friends while I was away. I kept up a facade for him when he visited. He threw himself into his work and I, my studies- I just did not want to be married at that time. Implicitly, between us, I've never mentioned the question of cheating and neither has he. I wonder why we don't talk about it.
In my 20's, in Malaysia, I had relationships with married men whom I met when I was doing an internship as a junior architect and through friends of friends. All of them were powerful, attractive older men. Three in total. I had those relationships because I was hell bent on getting revenge on all cheating men because I was angry that I was cheated on. And guess how I ended two of those relationships? I made sure their wives found out about us. I didn't want them, I just wanted them to suffer because they cheated. That's pretty twisted, huh? I WAS pretty twisted.
I have recently taken to hiding my husband's Blackberry. He sleeps with it under his pillow most nights. That thing bugs me for reasons I cannot fathom. When he's in la-la land, I bring it outside and put it in a drawer or in a toilet or kitchen. Shhh.
I am staying home to raise my daughter indefinitely- I may return to work when she's old enough to go to school. To me, it's an education in itself. I'm learning so many things- learning to let go of my need to control everything. She's changing me.
I really have no idea how to be a mother. I was raised by nannies who were supervised by my mother. I had no idea what real hands-on mothers do. I didn't know how to breastfeed because my mother did not breastfeed me. Nobody taught me these things and I never experienced any of it.
Doing this meme has taken a lot out of me. It IS gut wrenching. I feel exhausted and need to sleep.
I have no male friends who aren't gay or in the closet. I don't know why. My best friend found his soul mate and lately I only see him (together with his boyfriend) once in a few months. I'll blog about his "wedding" (commitment ceremony is what it was) soon.
I do an insane amount of pilates and yoga. Anywhere, anytime I can fit it in. In fact, I'm doing them now while I type on my laptop. Sometimes I think that it's normal. Sometimes I think it's not.
I'm fearful of the world that my daughter will grow up in. Being a woman hasn't been the easiest thing on the face of the earth. My heart aches when I think about all she has to face. I hope to raise her to be a person who is well-equipped to face those obstacles. The most important thing you'll need in life as a woman, in my opinion, is to know who you are and to love yourself.
I've been doing my research about food and trying to practice what I've learned. I've found that I have a bias towards Japanese home cooking. Not the haute cuisine you get from places like Tetsuya's, but more like what a Japanese family will eat everyday at home. Everything is so precise and calculated. I love that!
I don't like designer bags at all, but I love designer shoes/boots/sandals/heels.
My IQ is 135. Fat lot of good it did me when I was doing my bachelors degree in architecture. Never stopped me from failing a subject or two. ;) Never stopped me from getting involved with the wrong guy. Never helped me work in a team. Whatever.
I really enjoy reading anything by a good writer.
When we were on the JR Yamanote line at around 5pm from Marunouchi station, my husband's ass was groped somewhere around Shibuya station. Pervs left the okaasan (me) who was holding her baby alone. Was there some mistake? I'm secretly jealous of my husband... XD
I cry so easily now that I've become a mother. And it's OK to cry, too- it's an emotion, not a sign of weakness. I KNOW that and I'm OK with that, but I don't live in a bubble- there are people around me.
I love organizing things into these tidy little anally retentive lists. It's my dark secret. So now, with free time on my hands, I'll indulge:
TOP 10 80's GAY ANTHEMS:
1. "RESPECT"- ERASURE
2. "DON'T LEAVE ME THIS WAY"- THE COMMUNARDS (ref. below)
3. "JUST CAN'T GET ENOUGH"- DEPECHE MODE
4. "TAINTED LOVE"- SOFT CELL
5. "REGRET"- NEW ORDER
6. "GIRLS ON FILM"- DURAN DURAN
7. "DON'T YOU WANT ME BABY"- HUMAN LEAGUE
8. "HEART OF GLASS"- BLONDIE
9. "THORN IN MY SIDE"- EURYTHMICS
10. "BIG IN JAPAN"- ALPHAVILLE
Disclaimer: Purely limited to my own taste. Could I add more? Sure. What about more variantions the list? (eg. Top Ten Gay Clubbing Anthems?) Stay tuned.
source: Ebay
70's postcard of Taman Tunku Abd Rahman with Stadium Negara in background.
In a different time and dimension:
We were less aware of our racial differences in school and kids were allowed to the freedom to explore and play in their surroundings without fear of being kidnapped or worse... as adolescent girls, we wore whatever we wanted without fear that we were "asking for it". We were allowed to be kids. Now, as I return to visit my parents in their home in the hilly suburb of KL, it deeply saddens me that complicated security systems and personnel is a necessity.
As a nation, it seems to me that Malaysians have lost innocence and idealism somewhere along the way. No one wants to fight to live their life in freedom because it is such a struggle. And everyone just tries to get by and take care of themselves and their family instead. If you were offered money that would help send your kids to good schools, buy a nice house and car in the suburbs versus a lifetime of struggle and hardship for your family due to your political convictions, which would you choose?And there you have the reason for the Perak state government coup d'etat.
Before I blog any further:
Whinge: Verb: To whinge
A British/Australian/New Zealand (possibly South African and other commonwealth) English word which describes incessant complaining.
Example: “If you want to get anything done in this country you've gotta whinge till you're blue in the face!”
Source: http://www.urbandictionary.com
Isn't it easier to blog about the injustice of it all secretly/out in the open (depending on who cares)? You'd be able to vent your spleen without suffering the consequences, wouldn't you?
source: Sydney Morning Herald (www.smh.com.au)
If you don't do enough get arrested or questioned or contacted by police, you'd still be venting. Nothing wrong with that particular national pastime. Malaysians do so LOOOOVE to spend their time whining and whinging to each other/ themselves about the government at the mamak/kopitiam/the latest cafe in KL that's like, tooootally the shit..- but that's about all they do.
Isn't it easier just to leave the country for better career opportunities and lifestyles in Singapore/ Australia/ U.K./ U.S.A/ E.U./ Japan etc? Then you can watch and criticize in relative comfort. Like me. Like many other Malaysians who contributed to the brain drain. Source: http://blog.limkitsiang.com/
BUT don't make the mistake of thinking that those people who stay behind in Malaysia are all noble fighters.Most stay because their family are there- whatever: filial love or $$$ spinning family connections. Some stay because of the relatively comfortable surroundings: you can get your Indonesian maid and your gardener (after all, these are the workers you gain in exchange for the drainage of workers) for the price of nothing compared to other countries. Some are scared that they can't make it outside their familiar little world.
Malaysians have always pursued money, no matter what race you are. It is inherent in human nature to equate happiness and money, as that is what modern life teaches you- and it isn't a condition that only affects those of us who leave.
Those who stay behind AND have the courage to fight: Yasmin Ahmad and Raja Petra Kamaruddin have continued to fight the good fight- and they stay for the RIGHT reasons. They deserve more support from anyone who has an inkling of the direction the country is heading in. As well as my parents, I know that there are plenty of people around who have enough money and power to lend support to a cause that they continue to whinge to each other about at dinner parties and in sarcasm-laced emails. BUT these people made their money because of the current government. They don't want to risk losing it all- they have children in expensive schools abroad whose school fees need to be paid........ I do concede that supporting your family and providing for their future is a noble task in itself....... So why are we still whinging?
In Malaysia as we know it today, cowards that are left behind far outnumber these fighters who stay behind, so look no further for reasons why Malaysia takes 1 step forward and 2 steps back each time.....
Our little family (yes, our baby girl makes us a family now) have been adjusting back to Australia in the last week, but this week, my husband is away again in Hong Kong. So I have some time on my hands to blog.
Over the holidays:
We spent a good chunk of our month in Japan. Mainly in Tokyo, because both of us are very urban creatures who enjoy our high tech comforts and also we’re travelling with a baby. We’re (an investment banker and a project manager) really big on strategy: OK, so we had about 3 weeks plus- we will stay in a different area of Tokyo eachweek and really concentrate on getting to know that place inside out, as if we were a resident there. We’d already done the general tourist spots in Tokyo before, so now we’ll deepen our experience of Tokyo.
Our first and most expensive week was in Roppongi because we stayed at The Grand Hyatt in snooty arty farty Roppongi Hills.
The rooms in Grand Hyatt were perfect.Could spend hours in shower and bath watching TV. Those cooking shows for Japanese housewives really were cute. And the variety/gameshows! Pissed myself laughing....
And I loved the retractable bedside table- reminds me of another deisgner bed that’s on the market. One that comes with a sub-wooferunder the bed. Woohoo. Gangsta. I could spend all day lounging around in here drinking roasted green tea and never go out.
Why did we stay in this particular Hyatt? Why not stay in Park Hyatt in Nishi-Shinjuku, where Lost In Translation was filmed? Welllll, it was booked up. Damn damn damn that we didn’t plan months ahead for this trip….
And the armchair in the room was just so comfortable check out the label- they’re designed by B&B Italia, mmm-kay? Serious furniture bling.
BUT Grand Hyatt really delivered on value. I loved everything about the hotel-especially the bar. We came here without a nanny, but we caved in and called the hotel babysitter service. Hubby and I headed to the hotel bar Maduroand listened to some jazz band with a sexy brazilian singer who sang in Portuguese and French.
Just like a scene out of Lost in Translation: Water feature at entrance. Flames dance on torches above the bar. Dramatic setting. Kirin beer (for him. Not me- still BFing baby). Suave bar staff. Ahh- too relaxed to take any photos. I sank into my Lost In Translation fantasy.
You know what? I felt really at home in Roppongi. I could live there, I swear. We found a great supermarket, Precce at Tokyo Midtown that we visited almost every day during our week here. We’d walk there mid morning, grab a bento from Precce and eat it at Hinokicho Park, next door to Suntory art museum. Other young mums with kids and prams, OLs are also there having lunch. The only one out of place over there is my husband…. the salarymen from Konami and Yahoo.jp preferred to lunch at the piazza/oasis area. Nevermind, we’re on holidays. At the "oasis", a glass roof over the atrium doubles as a water feature/ cooling system and baseball is shown on giant flat screens and a bose surround sound system.
In the Roppongi Hills area- we easily could find chemists/pharmacists or drugstores as they’re called here at all hours. We went out one evening to buy baby milk formula because Tokyo isn’t a place that has many BFing facilities for mums with babies, so this really came in handy.
I’m speechless. Our baby girl LOVES this sweet smelling formula milk- she sleeps through the night when I gave it to her! But she’s back on the boob 100% now that we’re home in Sydney.
Week 2: we stayed in yet another icon of Tokyo- Keio Plaza in Nishi-Shinjuku.
Quite retro- kinda 70’s. And the rooms all had a smoky cigarette smell- well, besides rice, the ciggy is a staple of the Japanese diet. Really. Let's be honest here.
This was the most hectic week of our visit. I don’t know- maybe because Keio Plaza is more of a business traveller’s hotel than a luxury hotel. There IS a sterile, alienating atmosphere within this 1440 room city within a city. I wouldn't have liked to stay in and lounge around AT ALL, yet I wasn't eager to go outside the hotel each day to face the pulsating chaos that IS Shinjuku. There! My Lost In Translation experience is complete!
During a Japanese buffet breakfast at Kagari, I could overhear a bunch of Malaysian (I don’t think Singaporeans talk like this, in my experience) engineers/project managers/developers in their ill-fitting polyester suits talking about a project and basically criticizing their Japanese consultant counterparts. As with many Malaysian mega projects since time inmemorial, there are always numerous foreign consultants- and you have to travel to meet them for “workshops” in Japan. Anyway, these Malaysians (chinese, from what I can hear) waxed lyrical about the utopian-ness of these projects and how far-sighted the planning was. (That’s why I don’t think they’re on about Singapore, y’all) We look like any other young family on holidays to anybody- but my husband and I have been there and seen it, we just rolled our eyes.
We also caved in again and called for a babysitter twice this week: first time was so that we could head to the hotel bar, Polestar at the 45th floor of Keio Plaza. Breathtaking view and friendly bar staff. Bottles are arranged at the transoms so that the view is not obscured. Seems to complement the verticality of the skyline in Nishi Shinjuku.
The second time that the babysitter came around was for us to head over to Kabukicho and Ni-choume. Again, I didn’t take any pics. Looked to us like there were some places there that served great food at very reasonable prices. Walking in heels was killing my feet.
Where do you get nappies in Japan?
That question ever even entered my mind until now. We spent 2 days desperately asking each kombini (Lawson stores- why oh why do you not stock them?) for omutsu as our supply of Huggies dwindled down to 1. As anyone with a 4 month old baby knows, that could mean your situation could go down the shitter any second now.
We found a pharmacy in Ni-choume that had nappies, woohoo! So I carried a plastic bag of nappies through the gay district on our way home. It was a rainy Tuesday night, the place was rather tame. Male hosts were on the streets handing out brochures under an umbrella, approaching single women. I resigned myself to not seeing any BL(Boys Love) action. We stopped for a mos burger and headed back to the hotel. Gah. Whatever happened to DATES?
Week 3: Ginza. Not many hotel pics here, though. I was pretty much over the whole document-your-hotel-room thing by now.There are pockets of truly innovative architecture in Ginza.
We ended up at Muji at Matsuzakaya’s basement (at the annex to Higashi-Ginza station) three times that week because my husband felt like getting more khaki pants and shorts, in addition to a few great shirts. Not much shopping by the time the 3rd week came- so we revisited some tourist spots in Ginza like Hamarikyu-Teien during the week in Asakusa, Tsukiji and Akihabara.
The food in Duplex, Ginza is highly recommended! I think Japanese do steaks better than Americans do steaks. It's just more delicately handled here and it's not just about a huge hunk of meat, you know what I mean? Go to B1 to find out!
On the whole, we didn't try to fit as much into our time as possible. I think we had a longer time there, so there were the odd one or two days where we did nothing at all except go out to lunch at the park or go on a river bus just to sight see. It was a more relaxed holiday.
During the three weeks, I swung from thinking that Tokyo would be an awful place to bring up kids- but then I swung the other way when I saw that each female public toilet cubicle had a high-chair fitted on the wall for mums with babies- so that the mum can actually go to the toilet! And there were baby change rooms in Muji. And the mums who unlocked their Aprica prams as they came off the bus in Ginza with one hand while holding the baby with the other hand. I would never be able to do that with our Bugaboo. BUT when I saw the men walking back home/ to the train station in their suits at 11pm, I began to feel for the kids who see their Dads one or two days a week and for the mums who literally raise their kids as a single mum usually without the help of a maid while their husbands are at work. I feel badly for the men too, as the single bread-winner of the family, their loyalty to the company has to come before all else.....
Who would I be if I lived here? Would I be one of those housewives in a modern townhouse Shirogane/ Azabu? Would my husband be a workaholic executive or a lowly manager? (Not that he isn't a workaholic right now in Sydney) Would my kids attend international english schools? Interesting to escape into this world for nearly a month. That's what a holiday is for. To escape.
Should Jon & Kate Plus 8 Be Taken Off the Air?
Urban oasis at Tokyo Midtown, Roppongi.
Water feature at the urban oasis at Tokyo Midtown. It's also the glass skylight for the shopping atrium below. The sunlit atrium is cooled down and the glass house effect is thus eliminated.
Verticality
Sure beats a McDonalds breakfast.
At Polestar, the bar is sunken- bartenders do all their mixing and blending a full metre below us- we can actually see the tops of their heads! They have to climb up a full metre to reach the platform where they serve drinks to us. Assuming this is so that patrons can enjoy uninterrupted views
Pretty darn dark and quite empty at Polestar on a weeknight. No drunk salarymen, but older couples enjoying drinks and cigars together.
The 300 year old tree- looks the same as it did a few years ago. It looks like a grand old lady, doesn't it?
A bit of constructivist art at the banks of the Sumida River, Asakusa. Kandinsky on Sumida-gawa!
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